The woman whose maternity photos featured a swarm of bees on her baby bump has shared devastating news about the birth of her youngest son. Emily Mueller, a beekeeper in Ohio, took to Facebook on Sunday to share that her baby, Emersyn Jacob was “born an angel” on Nov. 11.
On Monday, Mueller shared with her followers that she had started to worry a few days prior when she realized she hadn’t felt her baby move, but tried to chalk it up to his sleeping patterns or a shift in his position.
“I just told myself he was sleeping but as the time passed, I felt uneasy about it and used our Doppler to find the heartbeat,” she wrote. “I didn’t seem to find a beat I was happy with, as I really thought what I heard was mine but wanted to hold onto the hope everything was okay.”
Mueller said she woke her husband, Ryan, in the middle of the night to try to find the heartbeat again with their at-home Doppler, and the two agreed that they would go to the hospital in the morning if she didn’t feel definite kicking.
“I truly thought I would be sent home with a smile, telling us to just wait for the arrival of our sweet Emersyn, who was due in 6 days,” she wrote.
The pair had brought along two of their three older children, and waited as the nurses attempted to find a heartbeat before calling for the doctor.
“I remember his presence, his way, the way he grabbed the gel from the nurse’s hand, the ultrasound. Every detail of that moment is forever sketched into my mind and I cannot stop replaying it,” she wrote. “Dr. Sutter sat on my right side looking at the screen and turned to me and said, ‘Your baby has passed.’”
Mueller shared that up until that point they had kept their son’s gender a secret, but now needed to know so that they could grieve for him properly. She also detailed the heartbreak in having to share the devastating news with family.
“I wish I could say I don’t remember any of it but I do. And the moments of our family coming to us and us confirming the devastating news. Our baby has died. Our baby will never come home with us,” she said. “This wonderful rainbow baby we were blessed with has now become a storm in our lives. But this was much bigger, deeper, felt in a much greater way than anyone can ever understand. Believe me, I hope you never do. And if you have, please reach out to me as I need to create a network of love around me right now and know we can move on.”
Mueller went on to thank the nurses, staff and Sufficient Grace Ministries who oversaw her delivery and helped them over the next two days as they grieved over their son.
“After Emersyn was born they did foot prints on many keepsake items, gave us a comfort bear, did newborn photography and provided so many amazing memories that it felt like we had Emersyn for a day; for one day we got to give him all of us and do important things that mattered,” she wrote. “My heart was able to begin healing from this, from meeting women that have gone through the pain, form having these experiences and feeling more people love our sweet baby.”
Mueller said she believes her baby was stillborn as a result of a blood clotting issue that has affected other members of her immediate family. More than 200 people share her post, with over 1,000 reacting to it. She has since shared several updates, and uploaded photos of Emersyn to her Facebook page.
Her bee-themed photoshoot, which was done by Kendrah Damis Photography, was shared on the Mueller Honey Bee Removal Facebook page in August, where it quickly went viral.